did you get engaged???
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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