did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
