I cannot find my penis.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
