wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
