Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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