actually, I'm a sock model
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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