that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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