Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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