I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
