hotel room ftw
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
