They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
