mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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