We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
