When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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