Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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