Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
