if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
