if i can run in heels then i can drive
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
