Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
