ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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