Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
