too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
