physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
