: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
