just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
