Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
