I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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