Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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