the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I only lived at night.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
zippers are such a cool invention
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
