i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I supernannyed him into submission
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
