i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You have to summon your inner elephant
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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