i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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