Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
