Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I'm really busy with my period
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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