dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
