What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
nutella sex= disaster
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
