So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We don't watch enough power rangers
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
