New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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