I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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