if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
