i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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