plz talk dirty to me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
