I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
