i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
