i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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