Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
