I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
