trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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