my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
