Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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