Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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