"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
