hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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