I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
