soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
