oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
